Heartfelt - The LOGOS Ministry

November 2011 - Including Special Needs Children in the Church

Write these commandments that I've given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street, talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.

DEUTERONOMY 6: 6-8

Including Children with Special Needs in Worship and Church School Programs

The first step for including children with special needs in any program at church or elsewhere begins with personal attitudes. Inclusion has more to do with one's philosophy, approach, and willingness to learn than a "how to" check list. It is about seeing each child, no matter how challenged, as having the potential to learn and the same need to be loved and included as all other children.

In the church, inclusion is also about wanting every child to know that they are deeply loved by God. Each child deserves the opportunity to worship and learn about God in whatever way he or she is able. With this foundation, a way can be found to include everyone -- even the most challenged children.

Educate Yourself
Learning about their specific needs is the next step to including children with special needs. Parents or other caregivers are the first and best source of information about the child and how to include him or her in church programs.

Explain how worship time and church school programs function. Ask for help in identifying situations that limit the child's involvement and for suggestions in overcoming obstacles. Parents will usually have very helpful suggestions.

Gather essential information on health, safety, and toileting. Develop a plan of action for medical emergencies. Parents may also have information for you to read on their child's condition.

Consider inviting the parent or caregiver to accompany the child to church school for the first few sessions. This will help you, the parent, and the child become comfortable with the new situation. Observe how the parent interacts with the child so that you can feel more confident handling the child on your own. You may also find it helpful to ask the parent or caregiver if they can sit in the same area of the church each Sunday in case they need to be located quickly.

Expand the Offerings
Another important step to inclusion is providing activities that are meaningful and appropriate to each child. A useful approach is to "expand" activities for everyone, rather than "narrow" them down for the sake of one. For example, children often enjoy participating in worship through dance. Rather than saying there will no longer be dancing because one child is in a wheelchair, expand the definition of "dance."

Dance can be seen as "movement to music." Teach steps to the dance if you wish, and provide other interesting response options as well. Some children may choose to be seated with their friend in the wheelchair and "dance" by waving their arms and hands. Others may choose to wave ribbon banners or keep time with an instrument.

The child in a wheelchair may choose to lead the procession or move among the dancers with the help of a friend. Be creative! If an activity is too narrow to include everyone, ask the group for ideas on how to expand it. They may surprise you.

Read more at: faith-at-home.com

Five Ways to Make Your Church More Inclusive

Positive and faith-filled strategies for change

By Terri Mauro , About.com Guide
©2011 About.com, Inc., a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.

Chances are, if you've ever brought your child with special needs to your house of worship, you've had the experience of feeling excluded. Maybe it's the stares of fellow congregants making it clear that fellowship does not extend to your child. Maybe it's the polite assertion that a volunteer Sunday school teacher isn't really equipped to deal with your child's challenges. Maybe it's the lack of zeal in recruiting your child for religious education, or the realization that no one in a position of leadership has made any effort to get to know your family.

It's easy to feel angry and hurt, and resign yourself to a diminished spiritual experience. Yet just as parents of children with disabilities are called to advocate for their children at school, they can do the same -- in a positive and faith-filled way -- in their houses of worship. I asked Amy Fenton Lee , who blogs about special-needs ministry at The Inclusive Church, to suggest some things parents can do to make a difference. "With the more Americans impacted by disability than ever before, churches are making commendable efforts to better include individuals with special needs," she points out. "Yet many parents still run into roadblocks when trying to integrate their child with differences into church programming. Parents are on the front lines, they know what is needed to accomplish inclusion, and they know from their networks that there are more families like them who can benefit from a community of faith." Here are her five steps to get started:

1. Share statistics. "Help churches see the opportunity is bigger than one child and one family," Lee suggests. "Most churches are not aware of just how prevalent disabilities are in our society. The numbers tell an incredibly compelling story." To get started: Lee's blog post "Just the Facts: Special-Needs Statistics" is written for churches and includes a variety of diagnoses. Use it as a conversation starter.

2. Provide role models. "Share examples of what other churches are doing for special needs inclusion," Lee advises. "In this case, peer pressure can be a good thing. Especially among high-profile and progressive faith communities, the trend in children’s and student programming is to add a special-needs component to the ministry menu. Many churches post helpful information on their website about their special-needs accommodations. Take notes about your findings and prepare to share this information with key influencers in your church."

To get started: Visit these websites recommended by Lee:

Grace Church, Greenville, SC
Woodmen Valley Chapel, Colorado Springs, CO
Capital Christian Center, Sacramento, CA
Montgomery Community Church, Cincinnati, OH

3. Help church leaders network. "Many communities have local networking groups just for special-needs ministry leaders," Lee explains. "San Diego, California, and Birmingham, Alabama, both have active nondenominational co-ops where church volunteers and paid staff members meet regularly to address issues unique to special needs ministry. These churches essentially equip each other, and they are always excited to welcome a new church to the group. These seasoned special-needs ministry leaders often mentor and partner with newer churches as they develop their own inclusion programming."

Read more: specialchildren.about.com

Making God More Accessible

By Mark I. Pinsky / Copyright ©2011 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved

The television commercials were disturbing: Traditional-looking churches barring or physically ejecting racial and ethnic minorities, gay couples and people with disabilities. One tag line was "Jesus didn't turn people away. Neither do we." The national campaign, which aired several years ago, was sponsored by the liberal United Church of Christ. "We included people with physical disabilities in these commercials in a wheelchair or with a walker as an extension of the call and hope that churches would be intentionally inclusive of 'all the people,'" said the Rev. Gregg Brekke, a spokesman for the denomination.

Instead, the imagery provoked grumbling from some denominations because of its implied critique of other church traditions. But at least when it came to the physically handicapped, the criticism had more than a grain of truth. Churches, synagogues, mosques and temples are places where people with disabilities might not expect to feel excluded, isolated or patronized. Yet that has often been the norm. For years congregations have effectively excluded the disabled from worship by steps, narrow doorways and straitened attitudes or segregated them in "special" services. Houses of worship (except those with more than 15 employees) were excluded from the 1992 Americans with Disabilities Act, which, among other things, bars discrimination against people with physical or intellectual disabilities including access and architectural barriers in public accommodations and transportation.

Most faiths' scriptures mandate corrective steps, and pragmatism may soon require them. The U.S. Census in 2000 counted 54 million disabled individuals one in six Americans and that number is probably growing. Wounded Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans are swelling this population. Thanks to neonatal care and technology advances, at-risk infants with severe disabilities now survive into adulthood. Most significantly, the boomer generation is aging and getting ill. Many of them may develop disabilities but still want to pray at houses of worship.

There are challenges to accessibility and inclusion, even for people with the best intentions. The elderly and people with disabilities provide uncomfortable reminders of life's fragility and of death. Those with mental disabilities can distract during solemn moments. Religious people generally want to be sincere, welcoming and open, but, like everyone else, they often lack the experience to respond the right way.

Family Book Club: Read Together and Talk

Children’s books are primarily for entertainment and enjoyment. They can also be an important teaching tool for a parent and can lend themselves to good family discussions and the support of critical thinking. Occasionally, while reading to your child, look beyond just the pure enjoyment of the story to the possible lesson that could be learned. Questions that can be used for any story include:

If you were in this story, who would you be?
What is your favorite part of this story?
If you could change the story, what would you change?
What might a different ending be?
What do you think we should remember from this story?

One caution: do not over-engage the child into always having to think of the meaning. Some stories are to be read just for the joy of reading. If you are using it for discussion, only ask a few questions---about as many as the child is old.
Our subject for the month of November is about how all of God’s children are truly special and that we believe that God created us all to be unique. Some of God’s children have more physical or behavioral challenges than others and that is our focus for this month. We have chosen books that help all of us to understand and to be inclusive and respectful to all of God’s children. Also included are books geared for children with special needs, their families, and their churches to help them understand and cope with the challenges they face. Our hope is that you read these books with your children whether they have a special need or not so that we may all understand and accept one another. We hope they stimulate discussion.

BOOKS FOR YOUNGER CHILDREN
For the really young child, read I Can, Can You? by Marjorie W. Pitzers with its engaging photos of babies and toddlers with Downs Syndrome doing what little ones do. Also for the Pre-K or early elementary aged child there is Hi, I’m Ben…And I’ve Got a Secret by Julie A Bouwkamp. This book is particularly good because it focuses on the child, not the disability (Downs Syndrome). A quote from the book tells it all: Ben says “you can call me “special” but...most of all I hope you will call me “friend.” Another book for a child in Pre-K or early elementary school is Best Friend on Wheels by Debra Shirley. This fun story focuses on the way two young girls are alike even though one is in a wheel chair. Another cute story is The Pirate of Kindergarten by George Ella Lyon. Here we find Ginny who loves to read but has difficulty because words seem to bounce around on the page, or she sometimes bumps into things. We encourage an open discussion if questions arise when you read these stories, or you might ask:
If Sarah (or Ben) were your friend, what would you like to do together?
What are some ways you can be a good friend to everyone in your class?
What are some of the feelings do you think Ginny had when her eyes played tricks on her? Do you ever have those feelings about something?

BOOKS FOR ELEMENTARY AGED CHILDREN
In I Can’t Stop! A Story about Tourette Syndrome by Holly L. Niner we find Nathan, a boy about 10, trying to understand why he has certain uncontrolled movements. This story includes how the family and Nathan’s friends work together once they understand the problem. Nathan learns ways to better control the situation and to be honest with his friends about Tourette Syndrome rather than to try and hide it. Discussion might include:
Nathan learns there are positive movements he can make. What are some of them?
If Nathan were your friend, what positive things could you do?

CHAPTER BOOKS FOR UPPER ELEMENTARY Reading Zipper the Kid with ADHD by Caroline Janover will help the reader understand the impulsive behavior associated with ADHD. It presents this in an interesting and entertaining way. You can’t help but like Zack, a.k.a. Zipper. Another good book, especially for siblings of a child with autism, is Rules by Cynthia Lord. The book is both sensitive and humorous as it looks at ways to find acceptance even beyond the rules.
Discussion:
What did you learn about acceptance by reading this book?
List some of the positive actions that helped either Zack (Zipper) or Catherine in Rules?

Small Steps: The Year I Got Polio by Peg Kehret is a good read for any adolescent. The true story helps one realize it is our attitude that helps us get through the scary times when confronted with a disability. Even though this book is set in the mid 20th century and polio is no longer the terrible threat it was then, the reader can relate to having their world turned completely upside down. It’s a story about friendship, courage, and perseverance—all qualities we need when facing disabilities.

Discussion might include:
What did you admire most about Peg in this story?
What can you learn from her?

BOOKS FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS, TEENS & BEYOND
The Sibling Slam Book: What It’s Really Like to Have a Brother or Sister With Special Needs by David Gallagher is a collection of the responses of 80 young people who have siblings with special needs. This book is both insightful and humorous and bound to include situations with which the reader can identify. Another such book is Chicken Soup for the Soul: Children with Special Needs: Stories of Love and Understanding for Those Who Care for Children with Disabilities by Jack Canfield and Mark Hansen. This book is inspiring and brings out the best in all of us.

The Childrens Corner

BOARD BOOKS FOR TODDLERS
I Can, Can You? by Marjorie W. Pitzers (Downs Syndrome)
Kids Like Me: Learn ABC by Laura Ronay (Downs Syndrome)
Kids Like Me: Learn Colors by Laura Ronay (Downs Syndrome)

BOOKS FOR YOUNG CHILDREN PRE-K AND EARLY ELEMENTARY
A Rainbow of Friends by P.K. Hallinan (Disability & Diversity)
A Special Smile by Julie A. Graham (Cleft Palate)
All Kinds of Friends, Even Green! by Ellen B. Senisi (Paralysis)
Allie the Allergic Elephant by Nicole Smith (Peanut Allergy)
Best Friend on Wheels by Debra Shirley (Paralysis)
Hi, I’m Ben…And I’ve Got a Secret by Julie A Bouwkamp (Downs Syndrome)
Ian’s Walk: A Story About Autism by Laurie Lears (Autism)
In Jessie’s Shoes by Beverly Lewis (Brain Disorder)
Moses Goes to School by Isaac Millman (Deafness)
My Travelin’ Eye by Jenny Sue Kostecki-Shaw (Eye Disorder)
Secret Code by Dana Meachen Rau (Blindness)
The Pirate of Kindergarten by George Ella Lyon (Eye Disorder)
We All Move by Rebecca Rissman (Amputee)

BOOKS FOR ELEMENTARY AGE
Harry and Willy and Carrothead by Judith Caseley (Prosthesis)
I Can’t Stop by Holly L Niner (Tourette Syndrome)
In Jessie’s Shoes by Beverly Lewis (Brain Disorder)
Sundiata, Lion King of Mali by David Wisniewski (Mute & Paralysis)
Susan Laughs by Jeanne Willis (Paralysis)]

CHAPTER BOOKS FOR UPPER ELEMENTARY/MIDDLE SCHOOL
A is for Autism, F is for Friend by Joanna Keating-Velasco
In His Shoes, A Short Journey through Autism by Joanna Keating-Velasco
My Worst Friend by P.J. Petersen (Brain Tumor)
Rules by Cynthia Lord (Autism)
Small Steps: The Year I Got Polio by Peg Kehret (Disease)
The Very Ordered Existence of Merilee Marvelous by Suzanne Crowley (Asperger Autism)
Zipper, the Kid with ADHD by Caroline Janover (ADHD)