Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. Talk about them wherever you are, sitting at home or walking in the street, talk about them from the time you get up in the morning to when you fall into bed at night.

DEUTERONOMY 6: 6-8

By Denise Dema
© 2010 EzineArticles.com - All Rights Reserved Worldwide.

All parents hope that their children will grow up healthy, happy, and productive. They aspire to have children who have the skills to contribute to their own well-being and to the well-being of their families and community. There is no magic bullet for developing these capacities in children. Literally thousands of programs have been developed to support families in their efforts to help children to become competent, confident, caring young people who have positive social connections and good characters.

Children have the potential to succeed in life and contribute to society. However, not all children get the support they need to thrive. By all estimates, an astounding 17.6 million young people - nearly half the population between 10 and 18 years of age - live in situations that put them at risk of not living up to their potential. Without immediate intervention by caring adults, they could make choices that undermine their futures. The presence of caring adults offering support, advice, friendship, reinforcement and constructive examples has proved to be powerful tools for helping young people fulfill their potential.

Mentoring is a structured and trusting relationship that brings young people together with caring individuals who offer guidance, support and encouragement aimed at developing the competence and character of the mentee. A mentor is an adult who, along with the parents, help young people bring out strengths that are already there. They are good listeners, compassionate and teach children how to live an honorable life. A mentor is not a foster parent, therapist, parole officer, or cool peer. The role of a mentor is not to "fix" young people but rather to help them achieve their full potential. Enforcing competence, confidence, connection, character, caring, and contribution to self and society, help develop a child into a productive and respectful adult in later years.

Read more at: ezinearticles.com

by Doris Keeler
http://www.massmentors.org/find-a-mentor

You've reviewed the information on how mentors and mentoring programs work. You understand the benefits of mentoring and you want your child to have a mentor. What do you do next?

There is no one set way to locate a mentor or mentoring program for your child. Effective mentoring must fit the unique needs of each child.

If you are trying to locate a mentor for your child, you can begin your search by:

1. Searching for a mentoring program in MMP's online database. Enter your ZIP code to see a listing of the mentoring programs serving your area. The directory includes contact information for each program.
2. Contacting MMP to find out about local programs in your area: 1-866-MASS-MENTOR.
3. Asking whether your child's school runs a mentoring program during or immediately after school.
4. Contacting your place of worship or a nearby faith community and asking if they have a mentoring program. All faiths have a long history of instilling spiritual values and moral strength - key elements in mentoring.
5. Calling your city or county government, or local youth center to see if they offer formal mentoring opportunities.

Read more at: massmentors.org

www.vaservice.org

You can have a direct and lasting impact on the life of a young person. Mentoring transforms children’s lives by boosting confidence, improving grades and diminishing drug and alcohol use. By believing in a young person, you can change the course of their life forever.

The Virginia Mentoring Partnership
In March 1993, Virginia Mentoring Partnership (VMP) became part of MENTOR/National Mentoring Partnership. The National Mentoring Partnership is a national nonprofit organization that helps mobilize cities to increase mentoring programs. VMP's vision is for every child in Virginia to have a relationship with a caring adult - a mentor.

"The possibilities are endless for youth who receive the guidance and support mentors can provide." Jennifer J. S. Slabaugh, Executive Director, Virginia Mentoring Partnership

How to be a Successful Mentor

• Focus on establishing a bond, a feeling of attachment, a sense of equality, and the mutual enjoyment of shared time.
• Developing a trusting relationship takes time and patience. Focus on your mentees overall development
• Give you mentee a voice and a choice in deciding on activities. Create an "idea file" together, listing all the activities you would like to do together.
• Be positive by offering expressions of confidence such as "Great Job," "You are really good at this," and "You can do it."
• Listen – when you listen, your mentee can see that you are a friend, not an authority figure.
• Be committed – You are building a trusting relationship. Respect the trust your mentee places in you.
• from the National Mentoring Center article on "Building Relationships"

Read more at: vaservice.org

Posted By Nick Ramsay
Copyright © 2010 Teach Kids How

Being honest is a characteristic quality that everyone hopes will be displayed by those in their lives, we especially hope this will be a quality our children will portray. Even those little white lies are lies, especially in situations where it can harm someone or something. Lies can only lead to bigger trouble, in many cases, and even though we want to think our children would never lie to us they will, at least once in a while.

If you know your child well enough you’ll know when they are lying to you. Call it a parent’s intuition or just knowing the way your children act in a variety of situations. Parents are gifted with a sixth sense.

Preschool
What is a lie? Can your child answer that question? If not, or if they have lied to you but really don’t know what it is, talk to your child about what the meaning of a lie is. Although understanding the difference between miscommunication and a lie can be difficult at this age, like if you said you would bring chicken home for dinner, but bring steak home because the store ran out of chicken at the store, this would not be considered a lie, just miscommunication. Therefore it is best to explain this as simply as possible.

The little boy who cried wolf would have never done so had he known the outcome. Starting a lie about something can only cause problems for those the lie was started about and the person who started in the Boy Who Cried Wolf story. Tell your child the story of the little boy who cried wolf and how this situation should have been handled. Read other books to your youngsters that teach lessons about lying.

Main points to address:

1. What is a lie? Talk about this question with your child and explain to them what a lie is.
2. Read books or tell stories that demonstrate being honest.

Grades K-3rd
When your child gets a little older you can get into the details of the difference between a lie, an accident, or miscommunication. But don’t wait for your child to tell a lie or get into trouble, talk to them about lying first. It’s important to talk over these things before the situation surfaces. You can do this at any time, while you’re driving in the car, grocery shopping, or baking together, anytime that you and your child have together one-on-one is a great time to talk about important issues.

While you are talking to your child use “what if” situations. Such as the chicken situation above, or “what if your friend did something wrong and your teacher asks you about it, would you lie or tell the truth? Emphasize the danger in telling a lie, “if you did lie about your friend to your teacher, what could happen to your friend that could become dangerous? Talk to them about how sometimes when children get away with certain things it only makes them feel they can continue a destructive behavior.

When they do something wrong and tell the truth reward them for that, without getting in the way of making sure whatever it was they did should be avoided. Perhaps you can discipline them for doing what they did wrong, but give them a break on the discipline because they told you the truth.

Main points to address:

1. Use “what if” examples to talk about telling the truth.
2. Emphasize the danger in starting a lie.

Read more at: www.teachkidshow.com

Copyright 1999-2010 - Colleen Langenfeld - Creative Energies Enterprises

Teaching children to tell the truth is one of the most important mothering jobs you'll ever accomplish.

Do you have a child who is currently worrying you with his or her lying habit?

Having a child who lies to you, whether occasionally or habitually, can be a scary thing.

I understand. I have four children of my own. Being the human beings they are, they have certainly engaged in "avoiding" telling me the truth from time to time. I hated the feelings of distrust those situations generated. And I agonized about whether this problem would be a once-in-awhile mistake for my child or a pattern of deceitful behavior.

Do you feel the same way? If so, you'll want to keep reading. I'm going to share with you the foundational principles I have learned over the past 27+ years of parenting. I'll also share with you the tools I have discovered that can really help as you are guiding your precious little one into a lifetime of truth-telling.

Key philosophy in teaching children to tell the truth.
** Raising kids in a character-driven home is the #1 most important thing you can do to produce children who tell the truth.**

Hands down. Period. No question about it.

Read that sentence again if you need to. Drill it into your brain. Write it on the back of your hand. Repeat it when you wake up, when you eat your meals, when you hug your kids and when you go to bed at night. It's THAT important.

Why is it that important? Because all behavior flows from our values. There is no mystery here. This is a simple example of an age-old principle:

** What you sow you will reap. **

So, if as a parent you want to “reap” truth telling in your children, you need to begin “sowing” that character trait. Today. You want to center your home around the types of character traits you want to teach your child.

Consider all these positive character traits:

• • truthfulness and honesty
• • self-control and discipline
• • kindness
• • generosity
• • forgiveness
• • joy
• • contentment
• • positive drive and ambition
• • respect
• • humility
• • patience
• • endurance
• • gratitude

Of course, this is only a partial list. I'm sure you can think of additional character traits you believe are valuable, besides teaching children to tell the truth. Also, each child has their own natural gifts in these areas and helping them recognize and develop those gifts is one of a parent's greatest pleasures.

(This may sound like it works best if you parent this way from when your child is small. And you are right. However, these ideas will work at any stage, even when you are parenting a teenager.)

Here are some proven ways of sowing - teaching - children to tell the truth, as well as these other vital positive character traits.

Read more at: www.paintedgold.com

Children’s books are primarily for entertainment and enjoyment. They can also be an important teaching tool for a parent and can lend themselves to good family discussions and the support of critical thinking. Occasionally, while reading to your child, look beyond just the pure enjoyment of the story to the possible lesson that could be learned. Questions that can be used for any story include:

1. If you were in this story, who would you be?
2. What is your favorite part of this story?
3. If you could change the story, what would you change?
4. What might a different ending be?
5. What do you think we should remember from this story?

One caution: do not over-engage the child into always having to think of the meaning. Some stories are to be read just for the joy of reading. If you are using it for discussion, only ask a few questions---about as many as the child is old.

September Book Club
Benjamin Disraeli said, “The greatest good you can do for another is not just to share your riches but to reveal to him his own” and provides an introduction to this month’s theme. The general topic of mentoring can be looked at from both those who mentor and those who seek guidance. Finding books on this topic is a bit challenging.

Jack: the Story of a Beaver by Shirley Woods is a chapter book for elementary readers. Jack learns a lot of life lessons from his older family members including his parents. Some of the lessons are hard, but he learns how to survive in a difficult world. Questions for discussion might include:

1. How is the Beaver family like our family? How our families different?
2. What are some of the same chores that need to be done in our household?
3. What are some of the most important lessons Jack learns?
4. What part of this story did you like best?

Stories about heroes is another good source for books on mentoring. To find such books, take a trip to the library to search through biographies of people that interest your child. One such book for elementary age children interested in sports is No Easy Way: The story of Ted Williams and the last .400 Season by Fred Bowen. Ted’s goal setting and hardworking attitude are portrayed in this true story. Questions for discussion:

1. What can you tell about Ted William’s character from reading this book?
2. Have you thought about setting a goal(s) for this week? This month? This school year?
3. What do you think is the hardest part of reaching a goal?
4. How can I help you to begin reaching for your goal?

Sharing Wisdom: the Practical Art of Giving and Receiving Mentoring by Robert J. Wicks is a valuable resource for adults. At the end of each short chapter is a mentoring tip such as: “in every situation help people look carefully for what is within their control” or “encourage people to journal so tendencies, values, feelings, and confusions can become more evident.”

We also are exploring the topic of truth-telling this month. Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire by Diane deGroat is a clever children’s story for early elementary readers or pre-school about Gilbert and the lessons he learns while portraying George Washington.

1. How do you think Gilbert feels when he knows he hasn’t been truthful?
2. When Gilbert lets another take the blame, how do you think the other person feels?
3. Who do you think was the better friend in this story?
4. If you were in this story , who would you be?

Whether or not you appreciate Judge Judy, she does have an interesting book about choices children in elementary and middle school have to make in everyday circumstances. In Win or Lose by How You Choose!, Judge Judy Sheindlin doesn’t give solutions but choices that she hopes parents and children will discuss and then determine the correct answer for them. There are many good character lessons here which help you to mentor your child.

PICTURE BOOKS FOR EARLY READERS:

• Being Honest by Cassie Mayer
  
  
• Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire by Diane deGroat
  
  
• Pinky Promise by Vanita Braver
  
  
• Telling the Truth by Shelly Nielsen

ELEMENTARY AGE CHILDREN:

• Being Your Best: Character Building for Kids 7-10 by Barbara A. Lewis
  
  
• Jack: the Story of a Beaver by Shirley Woods
  
• 
  No Easy Way: The Story of Ted Williams and the .400 Season by Fred Bowen
• 
  The Children’s Book of Heroes by William J. Bennett
  
  
• Win or Lose by How You Choose! by Judy Sheindlin

TEEN:

• Life Freaks Me Out and Then I Deal With It by K. L. Hong

• How To Raise Happy Healthy Self-Confident Children by Brian Tracy
  
  Raise Them UP: the Real Deal on Reaching Unreachable Kids by Kareem Moody and Amitra Budd
  
  Sharing Wisdom: the Practical Art of Giving and Receiving Mentoring by Robert J. Wicks
  
  The Mentoring Mom: 11 Ways to Model Christ for Your Child by Jackie Kendall

  The Total Transformation by James Lehman

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